


The First Thing

by Ashyface



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Games, Heartbreak, Loganisanasshole, M/M, Nofluffhere, Pattonissad, sadfic, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashyface/pseuds/Ashyface
Summary: The first thing you'll fall in love with are his eyes.





	The First Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first story on Ao3, don't judge me too harshly! Thanks!  
> -Ash

The first thing you'll fall in love with are his eyes. Like sweet pools of milk chocolate containg such intense passion you'll never look at him the same again. They grow soft when you are upset, shifting to a darker brown. He will never say a word as you tell him what's upsetting you. He'll just hold you so gently you'll think he's mistaken you for glass, ready to shatter at the first wrong move. His brown eyes will be staring down at you and even with tear blurred eyes you won't be able to miss the soft look they hold.  
They'll be bleary in the morning, the owner not quite awake enough to process anything said to him. His eyelids will hang low over his eyes, peering at you ever curiously behind thick black framed glasses.  
But the thing you'll love most is the way his eyes light up, turning a whiskey brown as he talks for hours about something you won't understand, but you'll listen anyway, entranced by the raw excitement and wonder in them.  
Then you'll fall in love with his voice. His steady voice, always constant. An anchor, your anchor. You'll fall in love with the voice cracks late at night followed by a flushed face and a whispered apology. You'll fall in love with the whispers of promises for the future late at night until fall asleep in his arms with a content smile and a hopeful heart.  
The way his voice get slightly higher when he gets nervous, like when he asks to kiss you. No matter how many times you assure him he doesn't have to ask, he always has your permission, he will still ask in that high, nervous voice. And you'll smile and fall even deeper for him.  
Next will be his lips. That shy tilt of the lips when you compliment him, like he isn't even aware of what he's doing to your heart. The pursed lips when he's thinking really hard, conveying his intense thought process in ways words can't. Especially when you're angry, his words will be deliberate, his lips pursing before moving to say the exact thing you need to hear to see logic. His kisses will leave you craving more like you're a junkie and his kisses the drug you would do anything to have more of. They are firm but sweet at the same time, the hesitation in his movements will tell you how carefully he's considering what to do next. The faint taste of the jam on his tongue will leave a smile on your face that nothing could remove.  
And when he smiles genuinely, oh you better run. It'll knock the air out of your lungs and make you so eager to see it again-so desperate to see it again that you'll do anything to make him smile. It'll be hesitant, like he's so unused to smiling, but that makes it all the more precious, all the more special.  
The last thing you'll fall in love with is his hands. Long, thin fingers executing delicate movements. Fingers made for art that can dance over the keys on a piano so quickly and beautifully it'll pull you into a trance, hypnotizing you with sound hauntingly similar to it's creator.  
You'll become obsessed with the unconscious brushes of his hand through your hair while he reads. With the way he cups your face so gently, his skin barely brushing against your flushed cheeks before he pulls you into a mind numbing kiss...

Then it'll all change.

You'll start to notice odd behavior mixed in with his gentle and sweet habits. Harsh words barked over a simple disagreement, followed by sincere apologies. Aggressive movements while doing a task when you frustrate him...  
Then he'll just stop. He'll stop with the whispered nothings when you can't sleep. He'll stop kissing you like you are his world and will barely even look at you with those chocolate eyes. He'll stop talking to you about his favorite things, then just stop talking to you in general.  
You'll of course wonder what you did. How could you have ruined the greatest thing in your life so bad? Were you too stupid? Too bland? Too immature?  
You'll stay up later and later waiting up for him to come into your room and sleep next to you like he always did before you stop waiting and just start thinking. You won't be able to breathe, too consumed with longing for oxygen to be your priority. Your bed will feel empty, so will your heart.  
Because he will become your everything. Your heart, your soul, the reason you keep moving. He's as needed as oxygen, as blood, as food. And what are you without that? Without your everything? Nothing. You're nothing without it, without him.  
You'll wonder where your anchor went. Where your love disapeared to. Comfortable quiet turns into dreaded silence. Gentle smiles become forced. Easy conversations about nothing become strained and very few.  
Then you'll catch him kissing someone else in the gentle way he one kissed you, brushing his thumbs softly under the makeup under their eyes, giving them that small hesitant smile. And you'll feel numb, as emotionless as others claimed him to be. Of course you hadn't been enough. So he moved on to someone ones he had gotten bored, the game restarting for him, playing his new victim, your best friend, in the ways he learned through you.  
He'll hurt you just because he knows he can. He'll force his way into your heart and play with your feelings until he has you wrapped around his every move, hypnotized by his every word and trapped by his every touch. He'll learn everything about what you love, playing to those weaknesses...  
Then he'll break you, harshly and suddenly.  
So this is my warning to you.  
You're easy prey. You'll fall so quickly after that first little smile. You'll fall so quickly, but fearlessly, knowing he'll catch you. Then you'll hit the ground.  
Don't fall in love with Logan Sanders.  
He will shatter you, leave you so desperate for it all to be a nightmare and there's nothing that will be able to console you. No lover will compare to him.  
The first thing you'll hate is how much you love him. Then you'll hate how you can't live without him. He'll ruin you.  
But the first thing you'll always fall for, are his eyes. When you fall for his eyes, you're already dead.

-Patton


End file.
